The Great Sports Champion Kim Jong Un


Foolish American “news” sources reporting Dear Leader Kim Jong Un has died spread false propaganda. Not only is Kim Jong Un still alive, but the following are the sporting endeavors of Dear Leader today, April 25, 2020:

Kim Jong Un golfed 72 holes at the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea’s finest course, Pyongyang Golf Course. Dear Leader shot a 70 for the four rounds combined.

Kim Jong Un pitched a complete game shutout for the DPRK National Baseball Team in glorious conquest of the the KBO League All-Stars. Inferior South Koreans could not hit Dear Leader’s Super Slo-Mo Pitch, which Kim graciously taught to American rabbit and television star Bugs Bunny.

Teaming with comrade Dennis Rodman, Kim Jong Un saved the virtuous and thriving Republic in a basketball game against a team of super-powered extraterrestials from the capitalist hell-planet, Moron Mountain.

500,000 spectators packed Rungrado 1st of May Stadium in Pyongyang to witness Dear Leader main-event Collision in Korea 2. Kim bodyslammed oversized French-Canadian dog Andre the Giant with great ease before submitting the great Antonio Inoki with an armbar.

Dear Leader updated the rules for targeting in Americanized foot-ball. Incidental contact about the shoulders is punishable by 15 yards and 15 years in labor camp. Striking a defenseless player is punishable by death.

Kim bowled a 300. He later slam-dunked the same 17-pound ball onto a 12-foot basketball rim.

The Cincinnati Bengals drafted Kim first overall in the National Foot-ball League draft. Dear Leader has since purchased the organization, moved it to Pyongyang, and drafted all of its players into the greatest honor of all: service in the DPRK military.

Dear Leader invented Nikes, a happy accident while developing Nukes through his own invented process of splitting atoms.

Kim splits atoms by punching them in half.

So as you can see from the above accurate report straight from the DPRK’s No. 1 sports news wire service, Kim Jong Un is not dead. Do not believe the propaganda from lesser organizations who have a vested interest in undermining our Dear Leader and the greatest sporting champion on the earth.