Michael Rapaport is Sad about Kristaps Porzingis


The New York Knickerbockers are terrible, and have been terrible for the better part of the last two decades. In this 20th anniversary season since Larry Johnson and Marcus Camby led the Knicks to their last NBA Finals — unintentionally giving rise to one of the more obnoxious Bill Simmons theories — have been to six Playoffs, and none in the past five years.

That won’t end any time soon!

The trade of Kristaps Porzingis to Dallas on Thursday came suddenly, though not unexpectedly; not in the context of Knicks basketball history, anyway. With the exception of Robert Sarver’s whiny reign of terror in Phoenix, it’s fair to say New York has been the most poorly run NBA franchise of the 21st Century, and by a considerable margin.

Knee-jerk reaction to the Kristaps Porzingis trade suggests a bulletpoint to add to the resume of failure along with Allan Houston’s contract; Jared Jeffries’ contract; Jerome James’ contract; and Isiah Thomas’ general presence. Judgement should be reserved until after Porzingis returns from injury and suits up for the Mavericks. Ditto the talented, young Dennis Smith Jr.

Plus, in a bit of role reversal for an organization long synonymous with having no liquidity, the result of those aforementioned bad contracts, New York has cash. In other words, a trade cannot be fairly judged for a few seasons — just look at how well Memphis made out long-term when it moved Pau Gasol to the Lakers. The initially maligned trade eventually brought in Marc Gasol, and led directly to various key acquisitions like Zach Randolph.

Until then, though, it’s fair to revel in some schadenfreude after all those years of making us endure 70-64 slugfests. So let’s check in on Michael Rapaport!

Did the Knickerbockers get a rise out of you, Mr. Rapping-Poor?

I can’t hear, read or think about Michael Rapaport without remembering the above video. Alternatively, my mind wanders to the various YouTube remixes some intrepid souls put together, using clips from the single-worst promo of Hulk Hogan’s career (*not* cut while hanging with Bubba The Love Sponge’s wife, at least).

Watch the below and sing along: Rapaport Rapaport Rapaport Rapaport Rapaport Rapaport Rapaport Rapaport Rapaport