Hello, and welcome to Michigan Recruiting Squares, the game where nine celebrities help 4-and-5-star prospects sign their national letters of intent to the Wolverines! I’m your host, Jim Harbaugh.
Let’s meet the board of celebrities. First up, he’s the man with as many titles reigns as Alabama football — though fewer of his are disputed — give it up for “The Nature Boy,” Ric Flair!
Flair is a Big Ten football alum himself, having played for the Minnesota Golden Gophers. How’s it feel to be at the permanent home of the Little Brown Jug, Ric? Haha, I kid! It’s great to have you at Michigan Recruiting Squares. With your good friend Steve Spurrier out of the game, it’s an honor to have you stylin’ and profilin’ for the Wolverines.
You’re not the only wheelin’, dealin’, kiss-stealin’, limousine-ridin’, jet-flyin’ former champion on the panel, Ric. Say hello to The Captain, Derek Jeter!
We have yet to even wear the gear, and already, Jordan Brand synergy is doing big things for Michigan football.
Speaking of big things, our next celebrity has done plenty of big things since playing the fourth female lead on a popular teen-drama. Not to worry, Jetes — it’s not Minka Kelly!
Give it up for Jessica Szohr…Jessica Szohr? You know? Vanessa from Gossip Girl? She’s been on… *consults iPhone* …Kingdom? On the Audience Network?
Ahem. Moving on, who says Big Ten coaches can’t recruit SEC Country? Those satellite camps paid off, ’cause ol’ Coach Harbaugh brought Migos to Ann Arbor!
Hey Mark Dantonio, how do you and Rich Homie Quan like me now?
And, of course, what would a game of Michigan Recruiting Squares be without mainstays Gilbert Gottfried, Charo and Rip Taylor!
Alright, so neither Gilbert Gottfried, Charo nor Rip Taylor are appearing at Michigan’s national signing day celebration. But at this point, aren’t you more surprised that they aren’t than if they were scheduled?